Nothing can stop the Apple doom train

Nothing can stop the Apple doom train

Choo-choo! this week, but that doom train keeps on a-chugging along! Donning the engineer's cap is contributor Peter Cohan. (tip o' the antlers to ) You know, tax season is coming up. Is it possible to write off contributions from the contributor network? The Macalope shall have to remember to ask his accountant, Amy. Like most of those whose services he employs, Amy is also a mythical beast. (In her case, a , not that that has any reflection on her accounting skills.) The only one that might throw you is Carl, the contractor. Carl looks like a human contractor, but he shows up on time and completes stuff pretty much on budget. So, clearly supernatural. Anyhoo, back to , we see Cohan is still plying the oldest profession: Predicting Apple doom in the face of all the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Well, it's all relative, right? The Macalope doesn't think Apple's doomed at all so maybe Cohan's reasons will show that it's more doomed than not-at-all doomed. Perhaps we can all agree that Apple is a mere soupon of doomed. Un petit peu. Ein bisschen doomed, vielleicht. W`QEtc. In recognition of reality, Cohan has reduced his list from two years ago to just six now. Progress! Just think, maybe in 12 years he'll stop writing these pieces! And these clown shoes I'm wearing are looking pretty large! Why did I even buy these?! Who wears clown shoes?! They're inconvenient! I'm constantly tripping over things! What was I thinking?! Investors should always take pause when thinking of investing in Apple. Amazon, Google, Microsoft, those are all safe bets. Living in an expensive neighborhood is now a kind of doom.

Got it. Well, that's nice, but the average selling price of the iPhone has and has been pretty stable for the last three years. Apple's modus operandi is not chasing price down the slope. Insert this into the array named Things_Cohan_Doesn't_Get_About_Apple in position 1 (or 0, depending on how you index your arrays). Apple's margin by 5 percent. Keep digging, Peter! So? If sales of iPads are being cannibalized by the iPhone and the Mac, who cares? I have not used the Watch, so I shall assume it can't meet expectations because that's what I do. [The Macalope stares blankly into the unending void of the Universe, searching for some sign that a benevolent force exists in our reality that can explain how this can be presented as evidence of anything other than Cohan's own folly. Alas, he is alone. And all is dark. A single tear falls from his eye.] Here's a better question: Can Peter Cohan innovate? Doesn't seem like it because he's still trying to sell the same tired old Apple doom he's been selling for years.